Women like nice guys…..
15 reasons why it appears that women don’t like nice guys…..Nice guys are so afraid of losing friendship, they won’t say anything remotely friendly. We think they don’t like us.
Nice guys are so afraid of offending us, they won’t do anything remotely romantic. We feel certain they are not interested.
Nice guys are so afraid of getting too close, they keep themselves distant, and play hard-to-get.
Nice guys are so afraid of appearing lecherous, they leave us feeling absolutely undesirable.
Nice guys pretend (?) they’re not interested in women or sex.
Nice guys take so long thinking about the right words to say about how lovely we look, we don’t get to hear it at all. And we feel absolutely unattractive and that there’s something wrong with our outfit. So we go to the bathroom to check, and cry.
Nice guys don’t want us to feel chased so they don’t call, and after waiting by the phone till we know we’re definitely forgotten and unwanted we go.... to the fridge.
Nice guys think so carefully about choosing the right gals, they are suspicious about all of us. None of us is good enough.
(No, those guys hypnotized by the media to think model- and celebrity-looks are the most important qualities in women do NOT count as nice guys.)
Nice guys are sensible with money, they add up numbers three times before buying us drinks.
Nice guys are intelligent, they analyse everything and they ask us questions like at a job interview we didn’t apply for.
Nice guys worry so much about this that and those they forget to enjoy our company. They seem happier with male friends and we think they don't like us.
Nice guys give mixed messages, when we stay-still they want us to give a come-on signal, but when we give the signal they think us too easy and run away.
Friendliest nice guys treat us like a sister. Romance is R.I.P. And the other thing with it.
Nice guys think grooming themselves is vain, so …
Nice guys are so naïve, tigress got them first!
(And another thing….As I said in World Famine of Love ‘Human beings are flawed’. My wise friend Paul also said ‘When it comes to finding mates, intelligent women make such terrible choices.’ Well, maybe we’re just desperate…?)
Relax, guys….. come-on… be your natural male…..
Venus Speaks
9-June-06
http://venusonreallove.blogspot.com for more articles
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posted by VenusSpeaks @ 4:32 pm PERMALINK
29 Comments:
Speared!
I think you've described guys with low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and are very insecure about relationships. Those people are going to finish last.
Women like confidence and assertivness in men.
Not all nice guys are like that. Maybe you should address them more as formal. But there are also formal assholes and formal jerks, and they're not nice guys. What should you call them then? How about a tight-ass armadillo, or a tight-ass shelled creature?
Yes I think you are right. I have read a lot about this lately, and most of it agree's with you theory.
My own blog shows that nice guys don't win hearts.
But I never heard a girl admit that she doesn't want a nice guy..
SM
http://somethingfromme.blogspot.com
What I've learned in my time here on earth, is that many women will overlook all of those supposed "character flaws" that nice guys have if:
1) He's her opinion of good looking
2) Rich
3) He has fame, status or power
Or a combination of the above.
It's really not that hard a formula, actually. I just wish that more women would be honest about it.
--Cobra
Speared?
Not. At. All.
You're making a fatal flaw that feminists call "blaming the victim". I guess it's okay for women to blame the victim, but not men.
Your whole argument is based on "nothing ventured, nothing gained", and you're blaming nice guys for not "venturing". Well, this argument has one very big problem with it: It's only half the story. Nice guys do indeed venture. But after lots and lots of rejection, they give up. And then women conveniently ignore them and defend ignoring them on any romantic level by saying "Well, we didn't know they liked us..." Please. There's no reason you can't walk up to a nice guy friend of your's, and say "Would you like to get to a movie, or get a coffee? Before you answer, I want you to know that it's okay if you're a little shy."
I don't see many women doing that.
You're just making excuses why you'd rather date a psychotic abusive guy than a nice guy.
Women are attracted to one thing and one thing alone: Power. The expression of power comes in many forms: money, fame, status, etc.
That's why lead singers of bands always get the majority of the girls. Your entire argument is "Well... we don't date the drummer because we can't see him all the way in the back there." Pffft please. You know he's there. There's no reason you can't walk up to him and ask him out.
Just admit it.
sigh...this is insane!
Venus,I want to take this time to thank you for this blog! Generally,everything you said is true....I experimented a little bit with what you said,and it was all true...I take this blog as a way of you informing nice guys that women love nice guys,not as a general stereotype against nice guys.It is good to know there are women like you who are trying to reach nice guys,and let them know that "its not what they think"!Little do the people who put you down here know is that their comments alone verify everyting you said...guys,its not that bad!
Thank you, Cayote Skinhead. Yes, you're right; please see Anonymous comments below too. I think that both your view and mine address points of generalisation which of course eapply to some and not to others. I hope that readers select wisely and courageously such information that is useful to them as individuals.
(PS Yes, I do walk up and start converstions with shy nice guys, not to ask them out but simply to be friendly to people, boys or girls, young or old, and birds and trees etc too. Friendship first; what might follow follows.)
Cheers
Venus Speaks
Thank you, Anonymous. Glad to know it is of some use to someone, much encouraged to put more thoughts together. I kinda think that we human beings are brothers and sisters that need to share knowledge and skills to help each other along.
Good luck
Venus Speaks
You are more than welcome Venus:).Thank you for showing a greater(hidden)truth...
Coyote Skinhead,
You just wrote history, my man. By telling exactly the truth about what women are really after. Women are actually very weak-minded individuals who most of them after a while realize this only truth so they go out and play all these devilishly little tricks on kind men, men who actually EXISTS out there who doesn't date women only to enter their glory hole but for real value. If women say that nice guys/kind guys are boring and predictable and it's not what they are looking then I suggest we give them that kind of hostility they need until they realize that the only true aspect of life is love and happiness. We all have to come to terms with us beings humans and that the only thing we all share in common is happiness and love. Why settle for worst? Just for the contemporary excitement? Women! Learn to use your logic not just your precious tender feelings. Learn to love yourself the most no matter who you are and you'll see that being nice to others doesn't have to be in a needy way or to sort of gain anything back.
Hi the Anonymous who wrote the message beginning with "...You just wrote history, my man. By telling...",
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I plead please do not hold such generalised views about 'women'. There are good ones and there are struggling ones, just like guys. It seems there are some anger and hatred feelings you keep from some past experience, please do not paint the world with the same broad brush.
This new day please start afresh. I reckon it is not fair to dump (project) past crimes by someone else onto new people you meet.
To everyone... would you agree that how you feel inside does show?! Others can detect it. Any problem you experience is not about them. It's about you.
Hope this new day brings you lots of brightness.
Venus Speaks
Hi Venus.This is anonymous(the one who feels that the attacks on you were insane). Ok, let's get a few things strait here, because I honestly think there is a lot of rage and anger on the injustice of nice men and women not finding love and losing out to bad boys and brainless women.
First of all, Venus, you are absolutely right(technically about everything), not all women(and men) are the same. There are some really good people who want a deep and serious long term relationship with other good people.Not everyone is attracted to an abnoxious jerk or a brainless morone.
Second, the primary reason it seems that bad boys and bad women get so much respect is because in general, that is all that is exposed...it is all over the internet, and we are generally exposed to nothing but that.The good people are often times hidden, because they basically all feel the same way(shy,bashful,etc.), so what is exposed? Hmmmm...a bunch of fools, perhaps?
Third, nice people have something written across their forheads entitled: "final destination". Nowadays, people do not seem to know who they are, what they want, why the want it, or why they exist...for the most part, they are just looking to get laid, party, and have these odd and shallow relationships. Nice people often times are focused and know what they want, and a lot of people are intimidated by that.
Fourth, BEWARE THE ILLUSION!!! Listen,(ESPECIALLY THE WOMEN), a creep can put up an illusion that seems tempting, and often times we fall for them.The results: single parents, job loss, fauls sense of stardom(just because you slept with an idiot, IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE COOL). These people who throw up illusions are pigs, and if that is the best anyone can do, God help them! Honestly, the illusion will drop,and the truth will be exposed. To many people sleep with pigs feel that they can get away with it, so they do it because they feel they are getting what they want without owing them anything, and feel that these pigs won't insult them in the process...BEWARE!!!!
Again though Venus,there are good people out there. It' just a matter of bringing them out in the open...I will give EVERYONE here the benefit of the doubt. When good people stay hidden, jerks are exposed, and they completely distort everything there is to real love, and in the process, we feel compromised, then we take on a character that we feel is appropriate( a jerk). This is what makes love and sex so damn difficult. Thank you again, for "reaching out" rather than "striking out" Venus:).Remember,the only way jerks can triumph, is when nice people do nothing!
PS-Sorry about the poor grammar.LOL:)
Hmmm...interesting points. You explain your side of the story very well, but coyote skinhead had a very strong point as well. From what it seems, you are making excuses as to why women make some very poor choices as far as men are concerned...Okay, we heard your side of the story, fair enough, but my question is WHY WOULD YOU OR ANY WOMAN WANT TO DO WORSE? Your arguments make sense, but they seem EXTREMELY picky. Be honest with yourself lady...what exactly are you trying to say? Your arguments of nice guys as opposed to what? You stated" maybe we are just desperate?" NOT GOOD! Lady, your arguments of nice guy flaws CANNOT compare with with bad boy flaws! Your seem to be saying "I want to do worse!" We nice guys may not be perfect, but who is? Seriously lady, A BAD BOY WILL BE A POOR CHOICE OVER A NICE GUY REGARDLESS! You are literally stating the folowing:
-you would rather be with a chronic lier than an honest nice guy
-you would rather tolerate abuse and neglect, rather than someone be good to you
-you are not responsible for your own actions...men have to approach you and do all the work
-you would rather be with a bad boy who will sleep with you and several other women secretly and risk getting an STD rather than being with a nice guy who will be loyal and faithful
-you would rather be with a bad boy who will be controlling, immature and lazy rather than be with someone responsible and hard-working
There needs to be a clear understanding about your arguments about nice guys and bad boys. Bad boys live up to thier names: bad "boys"(not men), but from what it seems though, you would rather make a poorer choice and end up screwing your whole life away over some nonsense. I hear women say all the time "I want a nice guy", but for some strange reason, they go for the nutty type...Where is the logic in that? I don't know about you, but I would rather live a warm and stable life rather than a struggling one. The choice is yours: stable life or or unstable life.Why be patient with a nut instead of a nice guy? Honestly, NO ONE is perfect, but if you choose to do worse, then who's fault is it? If you would be so kind, please explain to me and all "nice guys" why are you so hard on us, yet you seem to feel that the sick actions and tricks of a bad boy are acceptable? In short, why do worse? Why would you want to put yourself in a situation that will ruin your life and possibly get you killed rather than be with a more stable nice guy? Please explain.
I honestly think we can all learn a lot from Sandra Bullock!-LOL
i have just acouple of things i disagree about not sure where or how you relate your info to nice guys go. this may be rather long.
1.Nice guys are so afraid of losing friendship, they won’t say anything remotely friendly. We think they don’t like us.(ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO ME THAT ANYWHERE YOU GO ON LINE NICE GUYS GENERALLY GET RELAGATED TO THE FRIEND ONE BECAUSE THEY ACT LIKE ALL THEY WANT IS FRIENDSHIP. SAME GUYS GENERALLY ARE THE ONES THE GIRLS RUN TO TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE JACKASSTHEIR DATING AT THE TIME...DAH.....
2.Nice guys are so afraid of getting too close, they keep themselves distant, and play hard-to-get. LOL, REALLY THATS WHEN THE NICE GUY DOES APPROACH SOMETIMES TO EARLY ON IN THE RELATIONSHIP THIS IS WHAT HE HEARS "YOUR A SWEET AND NICE GUY BUT I JUST DON'T SEE YOU THAT WAY SO CAN WE BE JUST FRIENDS. AGAIN DAH.....
3.Nice guys pretend (?) they’re not interested in women or sex.
REALLY , THATS BECAUSE THEIR GENERALLY TAUGHT BY DEAR OLE MOMMA THAT GIRLS WANT A NICE GUY THAT WILL TREAT THEM RIGHT AND TOLD GIRLS AREN'T LOOKING FOR SEX ALL THE TIME HMMM... ALOT DEAR OLE MOM KNOWS HUH... BUT THE NICE GUY DOES SEE THAT JERKS PLAYERS AND THE LIKE TREAT WOMEN LIKE SHIT AND YOU CLAW YOUR WAY TOO THEM AS THOUGH YOUR LIVES DEPENDING ON IT . SOMETHING A NICE GUY IN MANY CASES WON'T DO.
4.Nice guys take so long thinking about the right words to say about how lovely we look, we don’t get to hear it at all. And we feel absolutely unattractive and that there’s something wrong with our outfit. So we go to the bathroom to check, and cry. LOL WRONG AGAIN IN MANY CASES ITS THE NICE GUY THAT DO GIVE THE COMPLEMENTS FREELY WHOOPS MESSED UP ON THAT AGAIN HUH....
5.Nice guys don’t want us to feel chased so they don’t call, and after waiting by the phone till we know we’re definitely forgotten and unwanted we go.... to the fridge.
WHAT AND REALLY AND HERE ALL ALONG IT WAS ALWAYS THE NICE GUYS THAT IF THEY SAY THEY 'LL CALL YOU NEXT DAY THEY DO. ONLY THE JERKS AND PLAYER AND OTHER TRASH KEEP A GIRL WAITING BY THE PHONE SOMETIMES UP TO A WEEK OR MORE SO YOU FLUBBED IT AGAIN.
…I would argue that “nice guys” are generally read as emasculated or effeminized men in our culture. In a world where calling a man “sensitive” is viewed as a pejorative, the very act of showing respect for women often disqualifies a male from being seen as a “real man.” I believe that this is a major reason why many heterosexual women are not sexually interested in “nice guys.”
Isn’t that interesting And sad?
Heterosexual women always say they want to meet a nice guy who treats them with respect, but then somehow they end up dating some loser jackass who only cares about his own needs. We’ve seen this play out in movies and in real life. Our friends have done it. We’ve done it. Our single moms have done it. One may ask, “Why do guys act that way?” but it may in fact be better to ask, “Why do women allow men to act that way?”
If relationship after relationship finds you with a series of men who act like assholes, you need to ask yourself why you acquaint yourself with these men long enough to call what you have a relationship. You should ask yourself why that great guy that you’ve known forever but only see as a friend hasn’t made it on your “sexually attracted to” list. Why are the rude, moody, aggressive guys so appealing? Why are the nice, respectful, understanding guys so unappealing? Why is your idea of a “real man” not so nice of a guy?
Here’s another quote from “Why Nice Guys Finish Last”:
So long as heterosexual women are attracted to men who act like aggressors, and heterosexual men are attracted to women who act like objects, people will continue to fulfill those roles. -p. 237
If the men you chose to date as a heterosexual women are assholes, what do you think that nice guy who’s totally into you will think he has to do just to get you to notice him? If the only guys who seem to excite you are the ones who are emotionally unavailable and/or physically domineering, why would the sensitive, physically unthreatening guy even bother with you? What good is it to say that you want a “nice guy” when all you accept as attractive are “bad boys?”
One more quote:
Lots of women…want to create a world in which women are allowed and encouraged to be sexual without having to be nonconsensually sexualized. […] I would argue that for this to happen, we will also have to work to simultaneously ensure that men can be respectful of women without being desexualized. -p. 239
(Emphasis is the author’s.)
If what we really want is a “nice guy“, then we cannot allow ourselves to continue to date “bad boys.” Dating and/or having sex with “bad boys” sends a message to the “nice guys” that in order for us to be interested in them, they have to treat us badly. And why the heck would we want to send that message? If we keep lowering the bar on what kinds of behavior are acceptable in relationships, why would our partners have any incentive to raise it? We’re already in a relationship with them. If we let people use us; if we put ourselves in a position to be used, people will take advantage of that. But if we demand to be respectfully treated as equals, our partners will do so (and anyone who doesn’t won’t make it to a partner- status anyway).
Nice guys don’t finish last because they’re weaker. The only reason “nice guys finish last” is because we give the “bad boys” an unfair advantage. By accepting their behavior, we make it easy for them to abuse us. If certain behaviors become truly unacceptable in relationships, they will be discontinued because they no longer offer any advantage. If that guy you’ve been obsessing about hasn’t called you for a week- forget about him! Don’t allow him to be “mysterious.” Allow yourself to see that he’s not interested and find a guy who is! If what you want is a guy who’ll call you when he says he will (a “nice guy“), why would you accept someone who does the opposite (a “bad boy“)?
Let’s get smart about this. It’s about time that we realized that real men are nice guys.
Where Did All The Nice Guys Go?
I see this question posted with some regularity in the many personals sections on the internet and what not, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out quite yet.
What happened ?
The answer is simple: you did.
See, if you think back, really hard, you might remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely , or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were f***ing treated you.
At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.
Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren't dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"
You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy (tampon) without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy (and that doesn't necessarily translate to having sex with him). You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be
And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.
So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab a hold of it.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.
So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've f***ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't want you, now.
Why do Women fall for Bad Boys, Losers and Lost Causes?
No woman ever wakes up in the morning and says to herself, “Today I am going to fall for a bad boy who will hurt me.”
Most often the men these women meet know how to make them feel wonderful.
Bad Boys are Usually good at Manipulating Women
The problem isn’t that the feelings of these women are wrong. The problem is that many of these guys are often very likable, charming, exciting and fun to be around, at first. These guys are usually good looking, sexy and masculine. They are good at forming a quick, emotional bond with these unsuspecting women. They are masters of manipulation. And they are used to getting what they want.
Though the common themes of why women like bad boys seems to be because they are, mysterious, indifferent, unpredictable, exciting and above all, sexy (check out my article, What Makes Evil so Damn Sexy, on my SEXYOUALL sexual advice blog).
In a survey asking women exactly why they date losers, the top 10 reasons were as follows:
Their bad boy attitude.
They don’t care what others think of them.
They tend to live adventurous exciting lifestyle. Safe or not.
Her friends or family don’t approve of them.
Their mysterious attitude is intriguing.
The emotional roller coaster the bad boy gives them is addicting.
She wants to change or tame him.
They seem to offer the greatest protection.
They don’t seem to like the woman, and she wants the attention or his love. (A challenge) pt1
Why do Women fall for Bad Boys, Losers and Lost Causes? pt2
It’s a father figure issue.
What gets these women into trouble is that their feelings often cause them to ignore bad or inconsistent behavior that they would clearly see if they were not so emotionally involved.
Despite the tears and sleepless nights these men cause, they are never boring, routine or predictable. They provide plenty to talk about with friends over a Coke. But mostly they inflict misery. Jealousy. Paranoia. Sadness. Depression.
Many women spend months daydreaming of offering a sparkling insight, of putting on a sexy dress, or of telling a hilarious joke, to show their bad boy lover how incredible they are. Fantasize of changing them. Of how they would stop cheating, drinking or beating them, transforming into Prince Charming.
Many Women Dream of Rescuing Their Bad Boys
Women like this see their bad boys as a project, a work in progress, or even a life worth saving. After years of failed attempts, it finally dawns on many of these women to stop dating these types of guys. But by then, a lot of emotional and psychological damage has already been done.
This "Florence Nightingale Syndrome" involves women who try helping guys who refused to help themselves.
Thank God there is hope. Contrary to popular belief, women want the Nice Guy. I know you are probably cringing right now because everything you have felt and experienced so far suggests the opposite.
Most women who constantly dated bad boys end up being attracted to and even marrying the same boring, nice guys they used to turn their nose up at. The loyal, affectionate, reliable, successful, fun ones that do their share in a relationship.
They want to stop being miserable, nervous, jealous, and paranoid.
Why do Women fall for Bad Boys, Losers and Lost Causes? pt3
How to Stop Dating Bad Boy Losers and Lost Causes
If you're continually attracting bad men, you have a problem. Bad men are attracted to women they perceive they can abuse, emotionally or physically. Are you up for abuse?
If so, why?
Sit down, pour a cup of tea, and have a good chat with yourself. Why do you attract losers? Why do you find them attractive? If you find good men boring or 'too safe,' what does that say about you? Are you afraid of a real relationship.
Why?
Love advice: Write your answers on a piece of paper. Give them some thought. Ask yourself what kind of man would give you the peace and joy you truly deserve. Write that down, too. Use your second list as a litmus test. The next time you date a guy, ask yourself if he possesses the qualities you need to be happy.
Ask yourself if you're willing to be happy (not everybody is, you know). If your answer is yes, that's great. If you answer is no, ask yourself why.
What are you afraid of? What's stopping you? Are you willing to change?
Written By: Tom Retterbush
Answers to "Do you believe nice guys finish last?"
HYPERLINK "/about/xuan"HYPERLINK "/about/xuan"
Posted by Xuan Mar 8th, 2011 at 6:59PM
If you mean romantically, then sort of. Let me put it this way. There is a type of guy that has some traits called the Dark Triad. The Dark Triad consists of narcissism, machiavellism, and psychopathy. In short, they make this person VERY self centered, a bad boy. The reason this happens, is because plenty of girls like the bad boy, at least for a while. So when people are younger, the nice guy finishes last. Eventually when people come to grow more mature and accept more responsibility, nice guys gain the ground back. But like I said, for young people....bad boys.
Do Nice Guys Lose & Bad Boys Win?
Posted on June 14, 2011 by Editor| Leave a comment
A recent study published by the American Psychological Association found that women are more attracted to men who look shameful, brooding or prideful and that men who smile are actually seen as less attractive.
NeW author, Danielle, traces this phenomenon back to the 19th Century. See seems to attribute it as an acculturated attraction conditioned by the popular print and media of the past. After listing some examples of more recent films that depict this phenomenon, she makes this interesting statement:
Nice guys, are you still reading this? I am sure all this talk of “bad boys” is a bit demoralizing, but I have an important piece of information for you:
Women may be attracted to bad boys, but women fall in love with men who smile, joke, are nice, well-mannered, and treat them well. Those are the relationships that last long term, says the study, and many women will attest to that from experience. No matter how enticing the bad boy is, the nice guy will get the girl in the real world.
So there is hope for the “nice guys” of the world after all, at least according some at New Enlightened Women’s organization.
Read the entire post by Danielle at http://enlightenedwomen.org/do-nice-guys-lose-bad-boys-win
Why women have sex with 'bad boys' and marry nice guys... pt1
We all know someone who thinks of himself as a "bad boy," the kind of guy who claims he can "mack" on any "hooze bag" in a bar. The name "bad boy" is slightly misleading. When I think of bad, I think of UFC fighters or extreme athletes. For the most part, "bad boys" are more of the poser, douche bag variety--the kind of guys who wear trendy clothes featuring the brands of UFC fighters or extreme sports. Douches tend to be ultra conformists who follow trends, are hyper narcissistic, and are completely self centered dick weeds. These are the dudes I spent my high school years hating, and my college years trying to take a few tips from. Despite what you think about douches, they seemingly feast on an endless buffet of one-night-stands.
There are a few commonsense explanations for why douche bags are able to "bang" your prettiest girlfriend while you're stuck consoling her on the phone when he won't return her calls. Women like men with confidence. Douche bags are supremely confident despite the fact that they rarely have a reason to be. Also, douches are too self-centered to care if they offend a woman when they're upfront about wanting sex, say grinding on her ass at a club or asking her if she wants to come back to his mother's house. Then there's the theory that douche bags have such a distorted sense of reality that they greatly exaggerate their sexual conquests. In other words, douches don't get laid nearly as much as they talk about getting laid, and the "hotties" they score with aren't always the type of women you would want to be seen in public with.
But take heart nice guys. New research shows that while these "bad boys" might be better at "hooking up," you'll do better in long term relationships. Not to mention that reckless "bad boy" behaviors, or what is called "dark triad personality traits," often have bad consequences, like a "pimp ass" case of herpes or a "baller" child support payment.
"We would traditionally consider these dark triad traits to be adverse personality traits, and we think women would avoid these kinds of men, but what we show is counterintuitive -- that women are attracted to these bad boys and they do pretty well in terms of sheer numbers of sexual partners," Jonason explained. "They're taking quantity over quality as their sexual agenda, being serially monogamous and having multiple partners or one-night stands."
Jonason compared the type of "dark triad bad boy" that the study refers to as a modern-day James Bond figure -- a man with little empathy for others, a penchant for fast cars and even faster women, and a seeker of short-term rather than long-term goals -- especially concerning the opposite sex.
But,
While some of these males may be more successful at short-term sexual relationships, their
Why women have sex with 'bad boys' and marry nice guys...pt2
overall success with long-term relationships is often compromised by their dark triad traits.
"The manipulative 'It's all about me, so tell 'em anything to get sex' behavior is likely to have more short-term sexual success," Worthington said. "A strategy of building trust and intimacy and commitment is, by nature, going to take longer. Thus, the payoffs are likely to be greater in the short term. However, long-term relationship survival is likely to be strongly disadvantaged in people with dark triad traits
everything posted from this post
i have just acouple of things i disagree about not sure where or how you relate your info to nice guys go. this may be rather long.
1.Nice guys are so afraid of losing friendship, they won’t say anything remotely friendly. We think they don’t like us.(ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO ME THAT ANYWHERE
to now is by me which says everything you supposedly quote as gospel is a sack of shit. before offering your self as a proffesional on relationships get your material straight first .
you gave jerk traits to nice guys
and misrepresented what nice guys are and eventually end up with.there are many more such post on line that refute miraculously everything you think you know about nice guys and yes i said THINK you know which ain't much
you know what's amazing that most of the long post above were posted by me long time ago . yet since the above post which shows 12:03 is mine as well but no date stamp which if I remember right was several years ago ,it leads me to believe maybe it left the OP and others somewhat speechless .every post except for a couple below time stamp 9:23 am are mine that I posted. funny though that there weren't any further posts by guys that (like me are considered nice guy)
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